Alternative Fiction
by HeadinTheClouds13
Summary: A collection of Au's, Crossovers, What If's, and Fusions.
1. To the Victor the Spoils

Disclaimer: I do not own either The Hunger Games nor Dead Poets Society.

**A.N. If you are unfamiliar with The Hunger Games I would suggest watching the trailer for the film, that should fill you in enough to understand this. Also in terms of chronology this takes place between the 25th and 50th Games. **

**To the Victor the Spoils**

Chris Noel: District 1

She wants to die. Covered in burns lying in a cave Chris Noel wishes fervently to die. She knows it's hopeless anyways, years of combat training mean nothing for someone from District 1 when the arena is mostly water. The District 4 tributes have been having a field day with all the gifts the sponsors have been sending. Her district partner however has deluded himself into thinking they still have some sort of chance and won't let her just off herself quickly. Ridiculous considering that if they do manage to make it too the final two he'll slit her throat without a second though. So when she steals the poison from their blow darts and coats her lips with it she's envisioning a dramatic murder-suicide of the tributes of District 1. Instead what she discovers is that she is in fact very much not dead while her poor partner in fact is within 5 seconds limpid on the floor of the cave. That's when the first parachute falls. Running to the mouth of the cave Chris rinses off her mouth madly praying the poison hasn't gotten into her bloodstream before diving for the parachute. Someone has sent her burn salve. The next morning Chris leaves the cave head held high lips glistening unnaturally in the dimness of artificial dawn. The games are over by dusk Chris gasping victoriously on the ground beside her last victim a pretty golden boy from 4. The poison finally beginning to leach into her system before she's lifted into a hovercraft antidotes crammed down her throat.

Shining red lips are the hottest thing in the Capitol that year.

Chet Danbury: District 2

His arena is a cold deserted wasteland reminiscent of the cities he'd seen in his textbooks at school. Not that he spent a lot of time looking at his textbooks. There's no food to forage, no animals to hunt other than rat muttations that devoured 6 of the tributes on the first night and he's not sure he should eat those. None of the many parachutes he's been sent have contained food, only weapons each more sharp and deadly than the last. He hacks and slashes his way through the skeletal city for 6 days hoping one of his sponsors will take pity on him and send him something, anything he can use to curb the vast pit of agony that has sprung up where his stomach used to be. It's only when he's prowling through the rusted remains of a playground that he finds the answer to his problem, a deflated hunk of what he first thinks is some sort of synthetic fabric they dreamed up in 8 is actually leather. Leather equals cow, and there in a field in a pretend deserted city Chet eats a football, as he learns it is called during his post game interview. And as yet another victor from District 2 he soon becomes known as the Boy who ate a Football. He doesn't know if he's disappointed or relieved.

Steven Meeks: District 3

For a long time Steven Meeks, the scrawny knobby kneed kid from District 3 was the youngest winner of the Games. He was quick and deadly fashioning traps and snares that both captured and killed in the swampy arena. Steven doesn't let himself feel too guilty, his traps weren't cruel like the ones the Capitol designs but quick and efficient. Essentially painless. And this knowledge is what keeps him sane after his Games. That and his insomnia, can't have nightmares if you can't sleep. That all changes when he becomes a mentor at 17, only a few months older than one and younger than the other. The boy is hopeless, a merchant's son who's never had to do much thinking or surviving and the girl is the kind who would have been subjected to screwing something together on an assembly line. But he desperately wants them to survive. Steven shows them all the tricks he used, how to build a simple trap and encourages them to spend as much time as possible at the survival stations. In the end it's all in vain. The boy (he doesn't allow himself to think of them by their names) runs into the belly of the Cornucopia despite all his warnings and is the first to be slaughtered by a girl from 7. Someone cheers behind him, they must have had a bet he'd be first out. The girl runs into the woods avoiding the carnage but dies that night after eating poisonous mushrooms. One of the older mentors pats him on the back and says "Better luck next time, eh?"

The next year he volunteers to mentor for District 12 since they don't have a Victor of their own. Because at least when they die he won't have to go home and face the broken hollow shells of their parents.

Todd Anderson: District 4

When he's reaped no one volunteers. Because they aren't seeing Todd, the quiet lonely boy who never learned how to swim, all they see is Jeffery; The Golden Perfect Tribute, the one who was supposed to come home. It's such a shame, everyone thinks, no one could have accounted for that blonde girl from District 1 and her poison kisses, like a siren out of an old fisherman's tale. So Todd is shipped off to the Capitol where everyone from his mentor to his stylist expect him to act, think and talk like Jeffery and are sorely disapointed when he misses the mark. The only person who manages to surprise him is the siren girl, who nods at him from across the training centre before hurrying her own tributes into the elevator. Well her and the arena which is a broiling desert with so many dangers lurking under the sand that 16 tributes are killed off on the first day. Years of running along shoreline making him quick and nimble on the sand until he manages to get a hold of a crossbow, and for the first time in his life Todd realizes how badly he wants to live and to keep on living for a long time. To finally learn how to swim, and to eat seaweed bread, and fall in love, and to learn all of the fisherman's tales and tell them to his children. And Todd focuses on that, or he'll have to remember the scared look on the face of the girl from District 9, or the way the boy from 1 gasped out his last breaths.

So instead he thinks of the sea. Because the waves drown out the screaming in his mind

Richard Cameron: District 5

The Capitol doesn't seem to know how it feels about Richard Cameron. On the one hand they love the sharp eyed schemer who managed to hold together a tangled and confusing web of alliances and double crosses which made for an especially exciting Games. But on the other hand they disliked his hands off approach, letting others kill while he orchestrated behind the scenes. His only death bludgeoning a sleeping tribute with a rock while the last two battled it out ultimately killing one another. But Cameron didn't need the Capitols approval, he didn't need anyone's approval he's better than all of them. And he's definitely better than the tributes that they send in every year for him to mentor. Year after year they fail to learn anything from his example, making failed alliances that betray them, dying at the Cornucopia trying to vain to battle off Careers, making stupid mistakes that cost them their lives. He doesn't feel sorry for any of them. Or at least that's what he tells himself as he sits alone in his house in the Victor's Village and drinks until everything is painted with a rosy glow and he can forget.

Gloria Alderton: District 6

She's the first volunteer District 6 has ever seen, swaggering up to the stage where the stupid Capitol escort gapes at her and the 13 year old girl who was drawn originally beginnings to cry with relief before fleeing back into the crowd. She didn't know the kid, but she's glad that it was someone young, someone who still had a chance. Not like Gloria who only volunteers because living in the lap of luxury for a few weeks before getting an easy way out seems like the perfect escape route. Because she's been broken on the inside for a long time, selling herself out to any Peacekeeper who wants a warm body or a pair of lips. She's not supporting anyone else, everyone else died off long ago so she's letting herself go, letting herself be free. Gloria never imagines she might come home but on the second night while she sits in front of her campfire reminiscing about her brief time in the Capitol, waiting for someone to come and kill her everything changes. The tributes from 1, 2, the boy from 4 and the girl from 10 come crashing through the bush, obviously drawn to her fire. Gloria stands, she has a knife on her, only to be used if they try to make it slow, she wants to die but she doesn't want it to be long or painful. Only instead of killing her they ask if she'll join their ragtag gang of bandits. They call it something else of course but she'll call it what she likes in her own head. She agrees, they'll end up killing her as soon as it gets down a few more but at least she won't starve or die of dehydration in the meantime. On that first night the girl from 10 wakes her up and walks her away from the rest of the group, however instead of quickly gutting her like she did to that dummy in training she shoves her against and tree and pushes her tongue into Gloria's mouth. Before she can formulate what she's doing she slits her throat with the knife she has stashed in the waist band of her pants. As the canon booms she tells the rest of her newly formed alliance she had tried to kill her. They nod understandingly, someone as innocent and sweet from a nowhere district like 6 would never have the guts to kill someone otherwise.

And that's what the last boy still believes as she stabs him in the stomach and he dies with his hands on her breasts.

Years later she's contemplating whether she could kill someone like that again while a Gamemaker shoves his tongue in her mouth. The thought of it is what keeps her sane.

Neil Perry: District 7

Everyone loves Neil Perry, the Sweetheart Victor of District 7 shining so brightly in the snowcaped mountains, the bodies of several tributes littered around him bleeding out on the snow, brilliant red. Always a hand to shake, always a pretty lady to dance with, and always a photo to smile for. They never sell his body, not like some of the others are. But they sell him in other ways, his face plastered on billboards and the constantly changing flickering landscape of Capitol television. Every year for the Games they bring him in as a commentator even when District 7 has been eliminated and his own kids are dead and gone, bodies being flown back home. They tried once to offer his body but no one wanted it, they wanted their shining innocent sweet boy from the charmingly quaint woods of District 7. The boy who swore never to kill anyone and to protect his fellow tribute, a sweet young girl with big dark eyes. And he didn't, not until a pack of tributes killed her and he chopped them down, like the woodsman from a fairy tale, saving the damsel in distress from the Big Bad Wolf. Only it was too late and the fact haunts him, lingers behind every smile.

He moves to District 4 where it never snows and a broken boy teaches him new stories.

Knox Overstreet: District 8

Losing was never an option, with 3 little sisters and his mother at home to feed he didn't need to win as much as he just couldn't lose. Couldn't leave them alone in the factories struggling to put together enough for all 5 of them without his father. So he transforms himself, goes from the goofy clumsy boy to a man who will fight and kill to defend and free his family from a life of poverty and fear. It's the first year they use tracker jackers in the arena and he only has a vague memory of certain events. And even if he did have all of his memories he probably would have pushed them into a small dark corner of his mind where he would never venture. He's relieved when he steps off of the train and his mother and sisters are waiting at the station, his youngest bouncing up and down clutching a bouquet of flowers she made out of scraps of cloth. They all act like he's only been away on a fun trip and the only thing his sisters want to know is what the Capitol was like. He answers all their questions as best he can but is confused by their lack of concern about the Games. It isn't until he returns to his house, a small 1 bedroom apartment constantly cluttered with scraps of fabric, buttons, and needles from the work his mother brings home from the factory, that he realizes what has happened. The television that was mounted into the wall for the mandatory viewing of the Hunger Games has a large chunk missing out of it that looks suspiciously like a fist. His mother never says anything and neither does Knox. But when they move into their new house in the Victor's Village his sisters are excited to finally have television again complaining they never got to see Knox in his famous sewing needle speedo.

Tina Dire: District 9

Years later after Johanna Mason wins her Games by convincing everyone she's nothing but a simple little girl who could never hurt a fly people are reminded of the unlikely Victor years before from 9. The main difference of course being that Johanna was only pretending to be a weakling, whereas Tina really was just a stupid little girl who had the odds in her favour. Or at least that's what she lets people think.

Gerard Pitts: District 10

He's one of only two Victors who never killed a single tribute, an almost unheard of feat as most tributes who refuse to kill are either done away with quickly by their fellow opponents or a conveniently timed natural disaster courtesy of the Gamemakers. Gerard avoids this fate by being an interesting tribute if not a particularly blood thirsty one. He somehow manages to train a few of the most dangerous mutts ever released into an arena. A cross between a moose and mountain lion huge and horned with claws and a particularly nasty venomous bite. Using jerky from a pack he steals from a dead tribute before her body is taken by the hovercraft he manages to get on friendly terms with a few of them. When it's down to the last 3 tributes they send out herds of them stampeding in to kill off some of them or get them all together for the final battle. However the Gamemakers underestimate Gerard's ability to sway the beasts and he manages to get in front of them and calms them down with some sort of cattle call. The other two tributes however are pushed together and ultimately kill one another. While watching his recap Gerard charms some and confuses others explaining that the behavior of the mutts was similar to bulls and that he's named the largest one Quental and the smaller one Hecken.

Needless to say the Gamemakers scrap those particular mutts.

Ginny Danbury: District 11

The camera's love her. The charming warrior princess from 11 both inside and outside the arena. Running across the flatland, her sword flashing in the sun as she took down adversary after adversary. A perfect match to the lovely Neil Perry from 7, everyone's golden boy. And there it is, the simple fact that what they want is what they will get. A courtship broadcast live to the Capitol, every smile, every kiss, every moment perfectly choreographed. But Ginny has always been a good actress and they eat it up in prepackaged little chunks. Their wedding is to be the highlight of the year, a spectacle to tide the Capitol over until the next Hunger Games begin and Ginny is more terrified than she ever was for her Games. They whisper together in the relative safety of body buffing and fittings. She tells him about her family and the way a sunset in District 11 looks. He whispers back the bittersweet story he learned about the beautiful Persephone and Ginny has hope. Hope which made her a Victor, hope which will triumph over the powers which bind her to another and into the hands of the Capitol audience, their own form of Gamemakers. The day is a spectacle, ridiculous, romantic, and personal in a way that neither of them are. Their vows so moving most of the audience is in tears. A lie that is more real to millions of people than the truth ever could be.

The commentators notice how touching it is that Victor Todd Anderson from District 4 is brought to tears.

Charlie Dalton: District 12

He's been cheating the system for a long time. Using his older brothers identification card to work shifts at the mine for the last two years to make enough money to support himself and his grandparents. Everyone's sympathetic and no one says anything when they see him show up for shifts under a dead man's name. It's not like any of the Peacekeepers in 12 care. So at least when his name is called at what would have been his last reaping he knows he might have some kind of chance, something no one from 12 has had, well ever. They've never had a Victor and in all the years Charlie can remember watching the Games no one from 12 has even made it into the top 8. It also probably doesn't help that because of this mentors are constantly shuffled into the position pretty much against their will, or at least that's what it always seems like. He thinks he maybe lucked out this time because his mentor, the winner a few years ago from District 3, talks a lot about harnessing their natural abilities and genuinely seems to want to keep them from getting killed. Either that or he's a really good liar but he has a sincere face so Charlie doesn't think so. He ends up playing up his natural cockiness, which involves putting him in the original sexy miner costume, a helmet, gloves, and a very carefully placed tool belt, but the crowd loves it and he plays it up winking and blowing kisses to everyone. Charlie spends his last night lying on the floor of Steven's room practising tying ropes to make snares and trying to pretend he's not nervous and failing miserably at both. "Is it worth it?" He whispers in the darkness. He's seen the sadness behind his eyes and the various states of broken Victors on television and lingering around the training centre. There's a long pause and he thinks maybe Steven is asleep when finally he hears a reply; "If you have something to come back for."

That solidifies it for Charlie, he's going to win because for the first time in his life he has something worth surviving for.

**A.N. I was greatly inspired by the work of aimmyarrowshigh who is absolutely brilliant and I suggest you read anything and everything of her's whenever you have a chance. **


	2. Morgue to Love

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dead Poets Society nor Pushing Daisies**

* * *

><p><strong>Morgue to Love <strong>

"You've _got _to be kidding me."

"Aww, come on Cameron don't be such a stick in the mud."

"I am not being a stick in the mud Dalton, it's a _bakery_ for crying out loud."

"Look, if Pitts says there's a guy here who can help us, there's a guy here who can help us."

"At a _pie shop_!"

In response, which was very mature and not at all petty, Charlie put the car in park and jumped out leaving Cameron pouting in the passenger seat. He sat there for a moment grumbling to himself before admitting defeat and following his partner into 'The Square Root of Pie' as the awning proudly declared it was called. The bell jangled happily and Cameron was hit face first with the delicious smell of freshly made pies and coffee. Maybe this wasn't a bad idea after all. Or at least that's what Cameron thought before he spotted the dead guy behind the counter.

It had all started innocently enough, a dead body had been found in a snowbank with suspicious circumstances. The man in question, George Hopkins, had just taken out a 3 million dollar life insurance policy and the newly named Mrs. Hopkins had a history of dead husbands. The crack team of Dalton and Cameron had been sent out almost immediately looking for any evidence that would link Mrs. Hopkins to the murder but so far it was looking rather hopeless, she had a solid alibi and no motive other than the money, something she wasn't exactly lacking. Even the autopsy wasn't going well.

"No signs of trauma either internally or externally," Pitts said flipping through his chart. They're all standing around Hopkin's body, Cameron has his handkerchief over his face as if freezing to death is contagious.

"What about poisoning?" Charlie asked fingers drumming on the stainless steel table.

Meeks frowned "Tox screen came up negative."

"Could still be poisoning." Pitts pointed out adjusting the medical lamp that was throwing puddles of light over the four of them and the corpse. "There's lots of stuff that doesn't stick around in the bloodstream, or something the tests didn't pick up."

Charlie adjusted his fedora, "We can't exactly arrest someone on the basis of poisoning that's impossible to trace." He sighed reaching for the clipboard, "I guess we're at a dead end then, unless we get a witness to come forward or any new evidence."

"Then I'm done here. Call me if you need anything else." Meeks said peeling off his rubber gloves and throwing them in the trash before pushing through the swinging doors that lead out of the autopsy room. Pitts craned his neck to watch him leave before leaning in close to Charlie. (Which meant he was leaning over the corpse, but Charlie assumed once you had seen as many corpses as he had you probably stopped caring.)

"Look, I know this guy. Meeks doesn't know about it but he's helped me out a couple of times."

Cameron talked around his handkerchief, "Some sort of poison specialist?"

"Well, not really...Here's where you can find him." He scribbled an address onto a piece of scrap paper and handed it to Cameron who looked down at his gloved hands which had just minutes ago been probing a corpse.

"Um, thanks" He said gabbing it gingerly with his handkerchief before handing it to Charlie who stuffed it in his jacket pocket before turning on his heel and swaggering out of the morgue.

Which, in short, is how Detective Richard Cameron III had ended up standing in a pie shop staring at a dead man.

He considered simply turning around and running back to the car but Charlie had the keys. So instead of trusting his instincts to get the heck out of there he skulked over to the table where his partner had take up shop chatting, or rather flirting, with a petite brunette waitress. "Ah, Cameron I see you've decided to grace us with your presence. Ginny this is my partner Detective Cameron."

"Oh." Ginny's eyebrows shot up, "Did something happen to Neil?" She looked worriedly over her shoulder towards the kitchen.

"No ma'am we just want to ask him a few questions. His name was given to us by one of our consultants, we're hoping he can help us with a case we're working on." Cameron replied taking his coat off and hanging it up along side Charlie's ridiculous fedora. He saw Ginny mouth 'ma'am' disgustedly at Charlie who just shrugged.

"Well Neil's not here at the moment but would you boys like to try some pie while you're waiting? On the house." She reached into her apron and withdrew a notebook, pen poised to take their orders.

"Just coffee for me thanks."

She jotted it down, "And for you detective?" Cameron rolled his eyes as Ginny grinned girlishly at Charlie who in his absolute most charming voice crooned;

"Oh, just get me whatever your favourite is."

She grinned and flounced off towards the kitchen hips swaying under the very short waitress' uniform she was wearing. Cameron glanced around, the whole restaurant was done up in a mod style with big silver light fixtures and circular bar stools surrounding the semi-circle of the serving counter.

"You know Dalton, there is such a thing as professionalism."

"I was just trying to be friendly Cameron, you might want to try it sometime."

"'Friendly'? Is that what people are calling it nowadays." Cameron muttered lifting his coffee cup up to take a sip. "Being 'friendly' with a random waitress or Meeks from the morgue for that matter doesn't help us do our jobs."

Charlie sighed nostalgically, "Ah yes, Meeks from the morgue. _Great_ legs."

"Charlie!"

"Okay, okay, task at hand."

Cameron leaned across the booth, "You see that guy-no don't look! The guy at the counter, he looks like a stiff."

"Wow, you said I was the one being unprofessional and now you're calling people names."

"No I mean he looks like a dead body, a guy who got killed a few years ago. The Anderson case, remember?"

The Anderson case had been one of the first cases Charlie and Cameron had worked together. A jealous girlfriend who had created a gas leak in her ex-boyfriend's apartment killing him and his brother who had been staying for the weekend. The guy at the counter was a dead ringer for the brother, the innocent bystander.

Charlie however was not convinced. "Okay, so he kind of looks a little like one of the Anderson kids, so what?" Cameron was about to protest that the resemblance went farther than a few facial similarities when Ginny the waitress came back with Charlie's pie.

"Here you go, Funeral Pie a la mode!" She set the plate down in front of him and Cameron was seriously regretting not ordering anything as the smell of the pie wafted towards him. "You boys need anything else?"

Charlie, who was currently shoving pie into his mouth at an alarming rate shook his head. "Actually, yes. I wanted to ask you about him" Cameron said pointing towards the guy at the counter.

"Who? Todd?" Ginny asked bemused.

Cameron gave Charlie a look but he just rolled his eyes. "Todd's a common name."

"Anyways," the redhead gabbed a napkin and a pen. "I was just wondering who he was."

"Oh, he's Neil's_ boyfriend_." Ginny didn't sound particularly happy about this fact though.

"You don't like him?" Cameron guessed. But Ginny shook her head, hair and earrings sent flying.

"No! No, I mean it's not that...it's just..." She glanced around before throwing herself down in the booth beside Charlie leaning in close and lowering her voice, "_they don't touch_."

"They don't touch?"

"_Ever_. I've been working here for a year and a half and I've never seen them touch. I mean I know some people don't like PDA but it's not just that."

"Germaphobes?" Charlie offered shovelling the last of his pie into his mouth and groaning just a little erotically.

Ginny smirked at his reaction, "No way, they shake hands with other people or whatever, it's just themselves. Like okay, this one time," She checked over her shoulder but Todd was still preoccupied at the till. "I saw them wearing oven mitts and holding hands but they weren't cooking or anything. It's so _weird_ it's like they're allergic to one another."

"Who's allergic to what?" The three of them turned, "Ginny shouldn't you be helping out table four?"

"Sure, thing boss." Ginny jumped up and straightened out her dress before hustling over to the other end of the restaurant.

The guy smiled at them, "So you must be the detectives, Gerard told me you were coming, can I sit?" Charlie nodded and indicated the spot Ginny had just vacated.

Neil sat down, running a hand through his dark hair, "So tell me about the murder."

Cameron gave him the run down, the wife, the insurance, and the lack of evidence. "I know she did it, you can just tell, but we've got absolutely no way to prove it."

"What if you could ask the victim?" Neil asked conspiratorially, which caused Cameron to release a snort.

"Well that would be wonderful, except for the one small fact that the victim happens to be dead."

Neil grinned up at them, dark eyes glittering like a sprite from a fairy tale. "I might be able to help you with that."

Hours later standing outside of the morgue Cameron had gone into complete shock. George Hopkins had only minutes ago, after Neil touched him, sat up and told them in great detail, or at least as great detail as he could in under a minute, about how his wife had poisoned him. It ha happened at their anniversary dinner and she then proceeded to have one of his own body guards drive him out to the edge of town and dump his body in a snow bank. The moment Neil touched him again however he dropped back onto the steel table with an unpleasant thunk. He explained to the pair of flabbergasted detectives how if he kept him alive for more than a minute someone else would die before handing them a card and telling them to call him if they ever needed anymore help, but to please keep it to themselves. Charlie and Cameron had followed after him standing huddled in the snow not quite knowing what to do with themselves.

"I guess we should go back to the station then." Charlie offered as they watched Todd and Neil walk away hand in hand. Or rather glove in glove.

It was rather hard to imagine going back into work and filling out paperwork after they had just seen the laws of life and death spat on and ran over repeatedly by a steamroller, "I guess so." Cameron finally added regretfully.

"You were right about the dead guy too. That explains why they don't touch and everything. Poor saps. No sex for them. Unless..."

"Ugh! Professionalism!"

"...Wait but if Todd was dead that means someone else had to die in his place..." Charlie and Cameron exchanged a glance.

"Maybe we should leave that bit out of the report."

"Agreed."

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. All of my science talk was stolen from cop shows and House so I apologize for an inaccuracies. If you haven't seen Pushing Daisies I highly recommend it and I hope you enjoyed yet another AU I never in a million years thought I would write. <strong>

**-C**

**P.S. I tried so hard not to put Cheeks in this but I just couldn't help myself. I'm trying to branch out I swear. **


	3. He's a Keeper

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dead Poets Society nor Harry Potter**

**He's a Keeper**

There's a very good reason Hufflepuff never wins at anything. It's because, although their house is built on ideas like friendship and loyalty, there's also a little clause that states they'll take 'all the rest'. All the kids who aren't brave, ambitious, or intelligent enough to fit in any other house end up in Hufflepuff, even if they aren't particularly nice or loyal. So in short Hufflepuff is the Island of Misfit Toys. And Neil Perry had never been so aware of that fact than while sizing up his quidditch team.

"Okay folks!" He shouted trying to get everyone's attention from where they had assembled on the pitch, but despite the natural leadership qualities Keating is always telling him he has no one even bats an eyelid at his shouting. Charlie and Cameron are already arguing, something to do with the worldcup...again. Knox is doing some sort of strange stretch on the ground, either that or he's having a hard time getting up because he's pulled something again. Ginny's disappeared and Steven's off talking with Gerard. Only Todd is sort of paying attention to him but whenever Neil looks back at him he turns away.

"Guys!" He shouts "Come on! We need to practice, our game against Gryffindor is only two days away and we haven't even tried out our new formations!" He must sound a little desperate because it actually seems to get everyone's attention, at least momentarily.

"What's the point?" Cameron says, "Everyone knows they're going to win no matter how much we practice. They've got Charlie Weasley."

" And Oliver Wood." Charlie adds grimly.

"And Chris Noel!" Knox says, to which everyone groans.

"Just because you won't hit any bludgers at her because you're _in love_ doesn't make her a good player Knox." Charlie said rolling his eyes. "It's just another advantage over the other dozen they already have. I mean they're going to have like 3 just for _not _having Cameron."

"Hey!"

Neil sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, he had been excited about being quidditch captain why? "Charlie shutup. Look I know Gyffindor has some really good players, but we do too! If we practise and try our best-"

"Look, Neil, not to rain on your parade but we never win anything. Especially not against Gryffindor." Steven said adjusting his goggles on his forehead.

Gerard nodded, he wasn't on the team but as the commentator he attended a lot of practises anyways, "It's true. It's like if this was a book series Gryffindor would be the authors favourite house and they'd win everything, even when it totally wasn't fair."

"Riiiiiiight." Neil said, "Well as interesting as that assessment was we're still a team, I'm still captain, and I still want to run all of our new plays."

Everyone groans but they tromp half heartedly to the middle of the pitch and do the group bonding warm up Neil insists on. They may just be humouring him but he thinks it might actually work a little bit because once they _finally_ get to practising everyone seems quite sharp. Steven's finding the snitch in 6..7..8 minutes, Charlie's not leaving his left hoop unguarded anymore, and the new chaser plays are freaking awesome. He watches as Todd and Ginny move smoothly around one another while he swoops into position catching the quaffle from where it appears out of thin air.

They're fucking awesome.

They still lose though. Badly. By the end it's 370 to 40, Knox is bleeding profusely from his left ear and Charlie limps off the field with Steven half carrying him because he refused to get on the stretcher. Ginny shrugs and pats him on the shoulder on the way to the locker room. "Gryffin-bloody fucking-dor eh? Hey, we'll get 'em next time Captain." Which just makes him feel like more of a failure. He spends an more time than is strictly necessary in the shower so he won't have to face anyone else on the team.

Only his plan fails, just one more for the day, because Todd's waiting on the bench for him. He's half pleased that he's there and half disapointed that he'll have to put on a brave face for Todd.

"I think maybe Gerard's right," He says, "Gryffindor has some sort of higher power on their side."

Neil forces a smile because he knows Todd's trying to be nice, "Maybe. Or maybe I'm just a bad captain."

Todd shrugs. "You can't be any worse than Marcus Flint." Which isn't exactly comforting but it's something.

"I think he likes Oliver Wood, all of their fights are just repressed sexual tension." Neil whispers conspiratorially and it makes Todd laugh and that's something too. Especially because Neil can count on one hand the number of times he's seem him laugh. They don't talk for a few minutes, Neil changing into his regular robes but out of nowhere Todd speaks again. "You're not a bad captain Neil."

And when he turns around Todd seems very close and his eyes seem very large and blue. Neil's never really noticed his eyes before but it suddenly seems like something very important and notable.

There are things Neil prides himself on being good at like sneaking out late or creating a patronus or knowing what hoop to aim at. And then their are things he's just okay at like being a good captain or potions class. And then their are things he's not good at like pulling all nighters or knowing when to kiss someone. So when he leans forward and kisses Todd he really hopes that he's aiming for the right hoop so to speak.

He knows though when Todd sighs into his mouth and grabs at his biceps and he's still wearing his gloves -and oh that's kind of a turn on. Kissing Todd is like riding a broom for the first time, new and exhilerating but also a little bit familliar like he's done it before in a dream or a past life. And maybe kissing Todd could be one of those things that he becomes good at.

"You're looking better." Ginny comments when an hour later Todd and himself tumble into the common room laughing and joking. "I was afraid you'd drowned yourself in a moment of quidditch inspired dramatics."

"No listen, I've got a bunch of new ideas for plays for the game against Ravenclaw." He says hopping into an oversized armchair and leaning close to Ginny and detailing his latest elaborate plan for quidditch domination while Todd sits on the armrest . They'll tell everyone. But not yet.

Though that plan gets totally derailed the next day during Keating's Defense Against the Dark Arts class when instead of his usual Patronus -an excited puppy of unidentifiable breed- a sleek silver fox explodes from his wand and wraps itself around his ankles. Patronuses, defintely something he's good at.

**A.N. QUIDDITCH FLUFF! It will dominate I tell you. This all just sort of exploded onto the page and turned into this Teil fluff piece rather than being mostly about quidditch. But hey, I'm not complaining. Also I do realize that not all the Poets REALLY should be in Hufflepuff but it seemed to be the easiest house to put them in because of the 'all the rest' thing. And they couldn't all be on the team if they were in different houses. So yeah. **

**-C**

**P.S. In case you didn't get the patronus thing, Todd means fox. See what I did there. **


	4. The Lies High School Movies Tell

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dead Poets Society**

**The Lies High School Movies Tell**

There's one basic reason high school movies get it wrong. It's because no one, no peer group, no school is that _simple_. No one is only friends with a handful of people and there are no mean popular kids. Well okay, there are mean popular kids but they're not mean to _everyone_ or else they wouldn't even be popular. And what does that mean anyways? What is does being popular mean in high school? That you get invited to the most parties, that people generally tolerate you, or that you have the most facebook friends? When you get to know people it becomes complicated, multi-layered. High school movies only ever skim the surface.

Todd Anderson is pondering all this while staring an inspirational poster. INDIVIDUALITY it proclaims at the top with a picture of a snowflake, 'You are one in a million' it says at the bottom. Which actually isn't very inspirational at all when you live in a world with 7 billion people. That means there are dozens of sad kids sitting in Guidance Offices pondering posters as stupid as this one. He can already tell he's not going to like it here. His old school Balincrest High had almost 1500 kids, Todd maybe knew 50 kids in his grade and even then it was mostly by reputation. Welton Collegiate Institute (which was way too fussy of a way to say high school) had under 500 and clearly was one of those school's which prided itself on being a close knit community, not letting anyone slip through the cracks. Todd likes the cracks, because even if it was lonely in them at least he didn't have to live up to anyone else's expectations. Come to school, do work, go home, rinse and repeat.

He barely refrains from groaning when the guidance councillor -Me-The-Captain Keating returns with a print out of his schedule and a map of the school which seems a bit unnecessary since it isn't very big. He's got that look on his face, like Todd's a particularly interesting puzzle he can't wait to solve, can't wait to inspire him to great new heights. The kind of man who went into teaching because he'd watched Freedom Writers a few too many times. Todd hates those teachers because he always ends up disappointing them. Not that he cares.

"Alright, Mr. Anderson you are all set for the wonderful learning experiences that beckon to you here at Welton." Keating says sliding the papers towards him. "And I want you to know, that if you need anything, anything at all. Well my door is always open." Literally because Keating's office didn't have a door. Whether that was purposeful or not Todd wasn't sure.

"Okay." Todd says stuffing the papers in his backpack. He'll look over them in the bathroom. No need making himself more obvious as the new kid than necessary.

"Oh, and I've assigned you a tour guide for the day, just so you don't end up alone." Keating says making a hand gesture that somehow is supposed to represent loneliness. Todd cringes internally, being alone was sort of his goal for the remainder of time before graduation. Now he was going to be saddled with some kid who probably didn't even want anything to do with him. Fan-freaking-tastic.

"Hi Captain." The boy standing in the doorway is one of those people. You know the ones who sail through life without a care in the world, natural goodlooks, charisma, and intelligence rounded off with so much passion. He might as well have a big neon sign floating over his head that says 'VALEDICTORIAN'. Normally Todd hates those kids. Only he can't quite conjure up any negative feelings about this particular example of human perfection, he just looks so goddamned _nice_ smiling at Todd. "Hi I'm Neil Perry." He says holding out his hand which Todd shakes half-heartedly feeling suddenly self-conscious about how sweaty his palms are. "Well, I guess I'll just show you your locker and then we can head to class. We have all the same classes isn't that great?" Neil says grinning like it's been his life's ambition to share classes with him.

Todd mumbles something sounding vaguely affirmative and follows him out the doorless doorway of Keating's office and out of the Guidance office into the hall. Neil shows him to his locker and watches him silently while he dumps his backpack and clicks the lock onto it. He points out various things as they walk down the halls, "This is the gym." "This is the library." "That's the grad hall.", Welton isn't really very big, just two squares on top of one another with an extra L-shaped section sticking off the main floor. Kids in the hall, on spare or maybe just skipping say hi to Neil. A few ask who he is. Most don't. Todd's grateful to them and keeps his head down as they pass a particularly loud group of girls on the stairs who all giggle and swoon at Neil. He's about halfway to starting to thinking bad things about him but his train of thought promptly derails when after they pass Neil shoots him a look like 'God I can't stand them' and Todd finds himself smiling just a little bit.

The worst part is that they interrupt the teacher mid-lecture. Her and the entire class turn to look at Neil who holds up a little yellow slip of paper, and then him. One kid in the back cranes his neck slightly and Todd is reminded of the trips to the zoo he went on in elementary school, how everyone would clammer up to the fence and try and get the best look. He's on the other side of the fence now.

"You must be Mr. Anderson, that desk is yours." She gestures at a seat near the middle of the room which means he has to awkwardly shuffle in front of people and then down the aisle, practically falling into some red-haired kids' lap when he trips over someone's bag. The teacher promptly launches straight back into her lecture, something about humanistic philosophy in The Tempest. Todd did the Tempest last year at Balincrest, it was fine, better than the Merchant of Venice at least. He's still pondering whether he can reuse his essay from last year when the bell rings. He takes as much time as possible to pack the notebook he was doodling in and pen back into his bag so he won't have to deal with the crowd at the door. When he looks up Neil is standing in front of him which surprises him more than it should. "Ready?" He asks.

"Sure." Todd says slinging his bag over his shoulder and following Neil down the hall to his next class. It's literally a 30 second walk and Todd feels awkward sitting down while other people are still coming in. Like they're observing him. He lingers at the front of the room for much longer than strictly necessary after he's handed his transfer papers to the teacher. Finally the room is sufficiently crowded that he feels like it's okay to sit down, he starts to head to an empty desk near the back of the room when he hears his name called. "Todd! Todd, c'mere!" Neil calls waving him over, his arms windmilling like he's trying to land a plane. He taps on the back of the chair, "Saved you a spot."

Todd tries not to be pleased. "Oh, thanks."

"No problem. This is Gerard by the way and vice versa." Todd looks at the kid sitting opposite him and thinks of graphs. Like if Neil was the base graph for a tall dark haired kid then this guy is that graph stretched by a factor of 2. Math apparently only useful for coming up with metaphors and making friends since Gerard laughed when Todd managed to mumble it out.

"We used to tell people we were related when we were kids."

"And then you got huge." Neil adds.

"Says the kid who's 6 feet tall." Between the witty banter and the fact that Todd was automatically included makes the class not half bad, despite being law which he despises and is only doing because there weren't really any other classes available. Also Neil lets him use his answers for the questions he didn't understand which is always a nice bonus. Gerard and Neil both seem to find him genuinely interesting, that or they're both just really good actors, though Todd tells himself not to get used to it either way. Being the new kid is a novelty which only lasts so long. Once they realize his quietness isn't a matter of being nervous they'll abandon him to the wolves. Or at least the sad corner of the cafeteria.

As it is today though he gets rather honorably invited to eat lunch with Neil and Gerard. Todd watches fascinated as Neil withdraws half a dozen small plastic containers and begins to assemble a rather fancy looking salad, there's something completely confident about the way he does it. Adding croutons with gusto, pouring the dressing with vigour, Todd shakes his head to get all the spare adjectives loose, he really shouldn't be thinking about someone making a salad of all things in those terms. Instead he focuses on the new additions to Neil's ever widening circle of people who seem to be just as dazzled by him as Todd is. There's Knox who though friendly enough when he said hi to him is now too preoccupied with his own personal life to be a very interesting conversationalist. He keeps shooting glances across the cafeteria before sighing morosely picking at his food and then repeating the whole process.

"Spit it out Knoxious," The kid sitting beside Todd says finally, his name's Charlie and he's wearing a beret, which admittedly is weird but the blinding amount of charisma he has seems to withhold any comments about it. "What's happened with you and the Princess?"

Knox glares, "Maybe she found out you call her the princess and is mad at you."

The girl beside Todd perks up, "No, she's just mad because Jenny Norwood's boyfriend did the thing with the balloons to ask her to Homecoming and you just said 'Hey, we're going right?' and she said now that you're dating you're not romantic anymore."

Knox flushes, "I'm romantic! And that thing with the balloons was stupid anyways..." He huffs blowing his fringe out of his eyes angrily.

"I dunno, I thought it was pretty sweet." The girl says

"Shut up Ginny." He snaps swinging his legs over the bench and stalking away.

"Score!" Charlie says reaching over and snagging the pudding cup he left behind, he's tearing open the lid when he stops abruptly and looks at Ginny apprehensively. "Is that a thing? You have to ask them to Homecoming romantically even if you're already dating?"

She shrugs, "I dunno. Maybe. Chris was pretty upset about it."

"Speaking of Homecoming I need to go print off some more flyers. I'm Student Council VP." He adds belatedly to Todd as explanation, "I'll see you in class." Todd absolutely does not nod like an idiot at this statement.

Charlie pulls off his beret leaving his hair underneath a tangled mess. "Ugh."

"What's wrong?" Ginny asks pleasantly stealing his stolen pudding cup, "You can just ask, you're dating it's probably not a big deal. Chris is just kind of a bitch. I mean not a total bitch, just a little so you should be fine."

"You don't understand, if I ask I'm going to get lectured on gender-roles...again." His voice goes falsetto, "'You know Charlie there is no girl in this relationship, just like there's no fork in a pair of chopsticks.' Steven gets really touchy about it. I just can't win." He puts his face on the table which can't be very comfortable or sanitary.

Todd chokes on his sandwich. First because he's afraid they some how _know_ about him and then because he realizes what Charlie is saying. Charlie who he's only known for 30 minutes and yet has figured out is sort of a womanizer just said he was in a relationship with another boy. For crying out loud he was bragging earlier about having gotten to second base with some girl named Gloria. He's just starting to consider that he's misheard or misunderstood when Gerard shows up with that red-haired kid who's lap he almost ended up in.

"Hi Ginny, hi Todd, hi Charlie's corpse." Gerard says somehow managing, probably with the help of dark magic, to shove his legs under the table. "Steven this is Todd. Todd this is Steven Meeks." Okay, so clearly a first name-last name kid.

"Hello," Steven says pleasantly sliding his caf tray onto the table beside Charlie's rather dead looking body. "Hi Charlie."

"Hi Gingersnap."

"What's wrong?" he asks followed by some incoherent muttering.

Ginny sighed scraping the bottom of the pudding cup with a spoon, "He's just PMS-ing because he wants to ask you to Homecoming but he's afraid he'll offend your delicate sensibilities by implying you're the girl in the relationship. Which is stupid, everyone knows Charlie's the girl because he uses the most hair products. Like not between the two of you, I'm talking between him and everyone else in school."

Which of course launches everyone into a debate about the flexible nature of gender and flexible hold hairspray. "Is it always like this?" Todd asks Gerard while Ginny and Charlie argue about weddings and during one particularly heated moment she throws a spoon at him.

He shrugs, "Meh. Pretty much I guess."

"I always heard small schools were...you know. More traditional."

Gerard laughs through a mouthful of whipped-cream type product and jello. "Nope, small school just means everyone knows about everyone else's craziness. Shit! Duck!" He pulls Todd down just in time to dodge a milk carton. "Was your old school this much fun?" He asks.

"Uh, I don't know if 'fun' is the word I would use."

Gerard laughs goodnaturedly. "We'll have you converted in no time you'll see." Todd doesn't know if he should be nervous or pleased with the feeling that Gerard is totally right.

Though it's mostly nausea he's feeling when walking into his writers craft class after lunch he discovers Mr. Keating standing atop the teachers desk. "Wait," He says to Neil "I thought Keating was the guidance councillor."

"Well yeah, but he teaches too." Todd feels the good feeling from lunch quickly rush out of his body. Not only will he have to deal with all of Keating's _inspiration_ and _expectations_ he'll have to do it in a class that he was actually looking forward to. Sighing he flops down in the desk behind Neil who turns around to look at him encouragingly. "Don't worry, The Captain's the best and he won't like force you to read your work outloud. Don't worry, it'll be great."

It's not. Keating likes to wander around the room and put on this face like he's trying to look into your soul. He also likes to use the yardstick to bang on desks dramatically when he has an especially good point. All of which make Todd nervous and the half paragraph of descriptive writing he manages to bang out seems phony.

"Emotional memory," Keating had said standing on top of his desk, "It's a strange part of human nature. Why some memories only bring back intellectual emotions, we only remember how we felt, while some actually bring back those very emotions. I want you to write about one such event. Try to describe it without using specific emotional terms. At the end of class swap with a partner and discuss what you've written." Neil had turned around and mouthed "Partners?" at him which seemed like a good idea at the time.

But now, watching him read what he had written. Something stupid about a stuffed animal he lost when he was a child. Neil's eyes dart over the page his eyebrows dipping down under the glasses he put on to read it, thick framed at the top but frame-less on the bottom and sides. Todd likes them for reasons he can't quite describe, like most of Neil actually. He even liked Neil's descriptive writing, not the most original but full of enthusiasm. He had written about after he had his growth spurt and how his mother let him buy a pair of chucks even though his father hated them. There's something so sweet about it.

Todd waits for Neil to get to the end of his paragraph. It's not even very long. Finally he puts the paper down and he's got a look on his face Todd can't read. "What?"

"That's _brilliant_. Holy crap."

He shrugs awkwardly. "It's really not. Just some sad thing that happened when I was kid." Truly it was one of many not so great moments in his childhood. After a visit to the beach he had forgotten his favourite stuffed animal, a blue elephant. His parents had refused to go back, it was just a toy from a Happy Meal, and Todd could still picture exactly in his mind where he had left it sitting on the sand.

"I just. I got a little bit choked up. You're a really good writer Todd." Neil says his eyes bright and genuine behind his glasses.

Todd's still thinking about it, how Neil had _looked_ at him while he waits for the bus in the back parking lot. He's so busy thinking about it actually that he almost gets hit by a giant aqua hearse. Which would have been a really horrible way to go. Charlie's behind the wheel and honks at him while leaning out the window. "Yo! Anderson you want a ride!" Todd looks around like the answer is hovering beside him. On the one hand he hates riding the bus even after only taking it this morning. On the other hand he's not sure if he trusts Charlie to get him home in one piece. Though if he does die in a car accident at least his body will already be ready to be taken to a cemetery.

That considered he decides his odds of survival are marginally better in the hearse. He climbs in the back with Gerard and the assumed ghosts of all the dead bodies that have been transported over the years. "Where to?" Charlie asks and for one horrible moment Todd forgets the address of his new house.

"Uh, it's over in Greenwood Meadows. I forget the number but I know where it is." He mumbles feeling embarrassed.

"Mr. Richie Rich." Charlie says which only makes it worse. "Oh hey, man I'm just joshing you. I live over there too. My grandfather invented the toothpicks with the little twirly cellophane on it." Todd laughs, "I'm not joking. We're rolling in toothpick money."

"He's actually not lying." Steven adds fiddling with the radio. "I know it's hard to tell because of his face."

"What about my face?"

"You don't have a particularly honest face."

"Words hurt Steven Meeks."

"Eyes on the road!" Todd shouts as they swerve to miss a guy on a bike.

"Shit, shit, shit. Was that Hopkins?" Charlie says turning to check.

Todd practically has a panic attack. "Just look at the road!" He's clutching the little handle for dry cleaning so hard his knuckles look like little white mountains on his hand.

"Look what you've done. You've scared Todd and now he won't want to hang out with us and Neil'll be mad." Gerard says drumming his hands on his knees looking way too calm. "Where is Neil anyways?"

"Play practise." Steven says. Todd thought he was just trying to get the radio to work but now that he looks more closely he's not just playing with the knobs, he has the whole unit pulled out of the dash and is screwing parts of it together. Casually, like this is normal business.

"Neil's Jesus." Gerard says to him.

Todd blinks, "What?"

"They're doing The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. He's the voice of Jesus." Charlie explains, "Though I wouldn't be surprised if Neil's the actual son of God. It would really explain a lot actually."

They're all quiet for a while. Only punctuated by the fuzzy music leaking out of Gerard's headphones and Steven's tinkering. Todd watches out the window, they move through subdivision after subdivision identical houses abruptly replaced with identical houses in the style 10 years prior. They drop Gerard off at a house which would have been the same as all the other ones on the block if it weren't for the fact that the entire thing was painted fire engine red with white trim. "My mom's colour blind, she developed it when she was in her 20's. She thinks that people don't appreciate colours enough." Gerard says in explanation. It's as good a reason as any and Todd decides he doesn't mind the fire engine house.

They drive into a part of town that starts to look more familiar. Richer. Houses you can't even see from the road, long driveways, fountains in the front yard. They pull into the driveway of one such house and both Charlie and Steven get out, "Be back in a flash," Charlie says throwing his beret on the dashboard and slamming the door closed. Todd tries not to watch and fails as they make-out a little bit on the front porch, Steven's nails raking into Charlie's hair. The only same-sex couple he knew at his old school was a lesbian couple who used to hang out near the vending machines and make-out which made it really hard to buy some Fresca. They kind of scared him actually. Charlie and Steven make him...well not angry exactly but every time he caught them doing something couple-y it's like he's half expecting someone to make some comment or an angry mob to descend. All of his signals that he's probably projecting.

Charlie hops back in the car. "You can sit in the front you know. It's a bit weird if you're in the back actually. Like 'Driving Miss Daisy' or something. Where to Gov-ner?" He asks in a bad cockney accent. Todd climbs over the seat and into the front. "Well that was unexpected."

"It adds to the feeling of the day." Todd says buckling in and watching out the window so they don't accidentally drive past his new house. They do the first time but cycle back and find it on the second.

"See you in the morning!" Charlie calls honking his horn several times and waving out the window. Todd walks into his house the front foyer filled with packing boxes all meticulously labeled. No one asks him how his day was, which is just as well since he's not sure how he would have described it anyways.

It's surprising how quickly he gets used to it. Less than 3 weeks in fact. Neil meeting him at his locker in the mornings and walking together to class. Getting driven around in the hearse and Charlie's terrifying driving and his seemingly never-ending collection of hats. Knox's casual friendliness and Gerard's bizarre jokes. He quickly learns that Ginny is loud around people she likes but is insanely quiet in class and that Knox's girlfriend Chris is a complete sweetheart but has a knack for shutting people down with a single catty comment. He knows that Steven always orders the BLT even though he's Jewish and always gives the bacon to Charlie. He meets a guy named Cameron who single handedly runs the black market candy trade but has a perfect reputation with teachers. He gets used to Keating's loud speeches and inspirational words. He discovers not only can he have friends but he likes having them.

Which must explain how he got dragged to Homecoming. He wasn't planning on going but it just sort of happened. One moment the teal hearse was in his driveway and the next he was at a dance with too loud music, hot heavy air, and people grinding and pretending it's dancing. It's not that bad thought because he's sitting with Ginny and Neil at a picnic table in the courtyard which has been completely _covered_ in fairy lights and it's actually pretty.

Ginny's complaining about a girl in the show. "I mean she's an _idiot_. We were watching Jesus Christ Superstar in Media Studies. You know what she said to me? That she thinks it's weird that Jesus's mom was hanging out with him so much. She thinks Mary Magdalen and the Virgin Mary are the same person. I mean come _on_." She looks like a cupcake in her big puffy blue dress. But a nice cupcake. She sighs, "I'm going to go see if I can find Cameron, Mama needs her a KitKat bar." She totters off in her heels the poof of her hair disappearing into the crowd by the doorway which leads outside. A blond kid pushes out through the crowd. Sam or Skippy or something.

"Neil it's time to do the giveaways." He says jerking his thumb in the direction of the cafeteria which has been moderately transformed into a dance floor. Neil gets up joints cracking and Todd follows after him. He pulls at the cuffs of his blue sweater, it doesn't really feel formal enough but it was the best he could come up with on such short notice. He heads to the side of the dance floor where Knox, Chris, Gerard, Charlie and Steven are standing. Gerard has a little pack of short girls staring up at him adoringly, like they're amazed by his height. Chris has her head on Knox's shoulder, all the drama about being asked in style forgotten now that they're actually here and she got elected to Homecoming court. None of which Todd really understood. Charlie of course looks in his element chatting with several girls at once but Steven doesn't look phased, especially since he's got Charlie's bowler hat on.

Neil climbs onto the small wooden platform and begins drawing names for a plethora of freebies from local shops. Some kid named Jonas though wins something Ginny wants and she stalks after him a determined gleam in her eye. That girl has an uncanny knack for getting what she wants. After all the draws are done Neil heads back over as the DJ plays all the music Todd could have stayed home and heard on the radio at a much more appropriate volume level. He hears Steven Meeks scoff something about 'amateurish sound-mixing' before being dragged off onto the floor by Gerard to do the Cha Cha Slide.

"Do you wanna go back outside!" Neil shouts over the music. Todd nods and they wind their way through the crowds of people lingering in the foyer around the chocolate fountain and back into the courtyard. 

"You did a really great job planning all this." Todd says gesturing around.

Neil shrugs, "I like doing it. The actual dance I don't like that much, but hey could be worse, I could have been in charge of the football game." Todd didn't go to the football game but he knows their team lost all thanks to Chris' ex-boyfriend, a fact that Knox kept gleefully reminding everyone.

"Yeah." Todd says and they sit in silence for a while listening to the echo of the bass from the dance and watching a handful of couples making out at various picnic tables.

Eventually it's Neil who breaks the silence, isn't it always. "I, um. I got something for you." He reaches into his pocket. "I just, your story it really got to me and I thought you should have this." He produces a blue elephant, exactly like the one he lost on the beach when he was a little kid. "I bought it on ebay, and the seller said he got it at a garage sale so for all we know it could be the same one. I mean it's not exactly likely but it could be." Neil's blathering slightly like he's nervous. In the few short weeks he's known him Todd has never seen him nervous. He looks down at the small stuffed elephant on the picnic table between him. His throat feels closed off and dry. He reaches out for it. "Do you like it?" Neil asks, his eyes full of some emotion Todd doesn't instantly recognize.

He holds the small stuffed toy carefully in his hand, cradling it, like it's made of something fragile and precious. Maybe it is because Todd realizes what Neil was really asking. "Yes, I do." Todd says carefully, measured not tripping over the words like he usually would. "I love it. It's perfect." And Neil must know what he means because he leans across the table and kisses him, soft and tentatively at first and then surging forward, not urgent exactly but with enthusiasm. His freehand reaches out instinctively and rests on Neil's neck where he can feel his heart pounding. He keeps his hand there when they pull away forcing Neil to rest his forehead against his.

"Was it everything crappy high-school movies told you it would be?" Neil asks his eyes dancing.

Todd hums fingers running over the small blue elephant and he thinks of the moment he looked up and saw Neil in the non-doorway of the Guidance Office. How part of him already knew and the rest just had to catch up. "It was better. Because it was you." He whispers as Neil pulls him in for another kiss.

Because if there's anything Todd has learned from high school movie's it's that the second kiss is always better.

**A.N. It's just all fluff. Apparently after writing 15 000 words of Hunger Games AU I just need to write something completely adorable to cope. BTW ya'll should check out my Hunger Games AU, part 2 posted. **

**-C**


	5. Much Ado About Muffins

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dead Poets Society**

**Much Ado About Muffins**

**For Sophia**

Neil came to New York to be an actor. He went to audition after audition, from broadway to off broadway to off off broadway and off off off broadway. Finally after being rejected for a small part in an experimental play he decides that maybe being an actor isn't for him. He leaves the theatre, dejected and angry and just tired of it all. Tired of working four jobs and still making almost nothing, tired of holding up his dreams all by himself, tired of being a failure at the one thing he was supposed to be good at.

"Hey!" A girl calls after him sounding just slightly winded, Neil turns and he recognizes her instantly. They must have gone to at least half a dozen auditions together. She's petite with a dark shock of hair. "Hi, sorry, I'm Ginny." She sticks out her hand for him to shake and her grip is surprisingly firm considering that she'd probably only come up to Neil's shoulder if she was on her tip toes.

"This is going to seem like a strange question," She says looking him straight in the eyes, "But have you ever wanted to be a baker?"

Three years and a few thousand pastries later Neil Perry is the proud co-owner and head baker at Much Ado About Muffins Bakery. And most days he loves his job because he gets to hang out with his best friend and make delicious baked goods for his nice customers.

Today is not one of those days.

"Ginny!" He calls because she's probably off on her phone and not minding the front counter at all and she knows, she _knows_ he hates having to mind the counter. His place is in the goddamn kitchen.

Ginny looks up from where she is, predictabilty, texting on her phone. "Ya huh?" She says not even bothering to look up, "What's up Neil-io?"

"This is not an order." He says thrusting the slip at her, which has in her untidy scrawl the words, 'Surprise me'.

Ginny lowers her phone slightly, "It's what he asked for, just pick something out." And Neil loves her, he really does and he's never really regretted going into business with her but sometimes he wants to slap her.

"What if he's allergic to something, what if I surprise him and he hates it. What then?"

"Okay, turn it down a few notches there. Look, if it's such a big deal why don't you go ask him, he's sitting right there?" She jerks her thumb in the direction of a table and returns to her phone, probably updating something on the bakery's facebook page or emailing a client so he can't even act like she's not working.

Neil huffs out a breath, jutting out his bottom lip. Ginny's usually the one who deals with the actual customers, Neil just hides in the back with his cakes. It's not that he doesn't like people, it's just that he gets almost too attached to them. Back when they first opened he knew all the regulars by name, but after nearly having a breakdown when a handful of them had moved on or moved away Neil didn't let himself get that close to them. People he makes baked goods for were not his friends, they are just people he makes food for.

Only it's not just people, it's _Todd_, and Neil doesn't even know he's Todd yet, doesn't know what that even means but he knows the moment that he sees him that he's important. He's so fucking important. He's important in the way that Neil knew acting was important the first time he picked up a script. The way he knew Ginny was important when she shook his hand. The way he knew baking was important the first time he managed to make a perfect souffle.

He's still mad that he asked for a surprise. Neil doesn't do surprises anymore. Being an actor was a lifetime of surprises and uncertainty, playing outside the box. Being a baker is all about schedule and order, playing inside the lines. Neil never knew how much he was like his father until he ran away from him.

Todd looks up when he approaches with his stupid little order pad held in front of him defensively, looking through his fringe without tipping his head. Neil's heart hurts like the time he ate an entire package of bacon and for a moment it feels like he might be having a heart attack.

"Hi, um, were you- I mean did you put in the order- or rather not an order-It's just that." Neil exhales, "I'm bad at surprises, I really am. I mean you don't have to pick something but can you just give me an idea?"

"I guess whatever your specialty is." Todd says, "I'm really not picky." Neil didn't know, wouldn't know for a long time actually how long Todd must have practiced saying those words. Running them over and over in his mind until he had worn them smooth.

"Sure thing cowboy." Neil says. "I mean-ugh-god, I don't know why I said that. I don't normally call people cowboys. I'm just going to go get you some food and coffee now. Sorry."

Ginny smirks from her perch on the counter, "Not a fucking word Ginny, not one fucking word. Now make him a goddamn Americano." He hisses at her on his way into the kitchen. He spends a good five minutes deciding between the raspberry truffle brownie (their bestseller) and a chocolate and seasalt croissant (his personal favourite). He goes with the croissant in the end arranging it tastefully on the tray with his coffee. Though he disposes of the napkin Ginny had added with the word 'YEEHAW' in block letters.

He had the part-time waitress deliever it to his table because he really didn't know what sort of other stupid things he might say in front of him. Neil couldn't help himself though from sneaking a glance through the round window of the kitchen. He unravels the croissant and eats it in strips, occasionally dunking them in his coffee. Neil thinks, stupidly, he might actually be in love.

"You're so cute." Ginny says when he finally re-emerged from the kitchen at the end of the day. "You wanna have his adopted babies and-"

"Did you ask him where he was from?"

"Oooo! Stalker-y"

"No, because of the free coffee." Neil snaps, anyone who lived or worked in the five Burroughs got their first coffee free as a show of good faith that they would come back. They almost always did. Ginny and Neil were the best in the city after all.

"I forgot." She shrugs, "He'll probably come back anyways."

He does come back to Neil's mixed horror and joy. Horror because it was on their open-mic night and Ginny's high school friend Charlie was doing some sort of beatnik spokenword version of a Taylor Swift song accompanied by bongos. Joy because, well the joy was pretty obvious.

"He's baaaaaaack" Ginny singsongs in his ear, "Omigod, he's so cute, lookit his sweater!" He was in fact wearing a very comfortable looking sweater with cuffs that fell past the tips of his fingers, but that was beside the point. "Go talk to him!" She gave Neil a shove in his general direction.

"Hi," Todd says, almost sheepishly. Like he was intruding on something.

"Hi, hey, how are you? I love your sweater it looks great on you. I mean it looks great, and it's on you so you have to jump to the conclusion that it looks great on you-and hey you know what last time you were here you were supposed to get your coffee free. Well, if you, where do you live?"

He blinks, "S-sorry? I only caught coffee and sweater."

Neil exhales loudly, he hadn't been this awkward around a guy since high school and even then he was pretty sure he could at least keep his mouth in check if not always his dopey stares. "Sorry, what I meant to say is if you live in the 5 Burroughs you get your first coffee free and I forgot to ask last time so I guess I'm asking if I need to give you one."

"Oh, no I actually live in Hoboken."

"Hoboken no jokin'!" Neil blurts before he could stop himself. Jesus Christ, he had a problem. It was called his life.

"I'm Todd by the way." Todd says after a sufficiently awkward pause.

"Neil." There's another long pause, not a silence mind you because Charlie was still going at it on the bongos. "Did you want a drink or...?"

Todd blinks, apparently having been mesmerized by spokenword Taylor Swift. "Sure, can I get some tea, I don't care what kind, whatever's popular and are your cookies crispy or soft?"

"We make both."

"Where have you been all my life? Can I have a half dozen of whatever kinds you have, half crispy half soft?"

"Sure thing."Neil says already backing up so he could get to the kitchen where he antagonized over which cookies were the most perfect for almost 5 minutes. He was so worried about it that he almost misses that Ginny had served the tea up in a travel cup with his number written on the side.

"Neil, sweetie, this is what grown ups do when we like somebody. Well actually, normally you'd just ask them out for coffee but that doesn't work very well for you."

He pouts and forces himself to turn that into a frown. "I don't like him, I don't even know him."

"Then get to know him, quickly before I'm forced to resort to drastic measures." She makes a shooing gesture and returns to her beloved milk steamer.

Neil brought the tray to Todd's table where he was intently watching the girl at the mic. He recognizes her as one of Ginny's friends from their auditioning days but he couldn't remember her name. "Did you want to sit?" Todd asks, "It's not like I'm expecting anyone."

Half of the cookies were already gone and Neil smiled to himself a little bit self-satisfied. "So, what do you do?" He asks after a moment.

"I'm a writer."

"Like novels or...?" Neil waves his hand vaguely.

"Mostly articles for magazines. I used to write poetry, when I was a kid but learned pretty quickly that doesn't pay the bills."

"You should come next week for open mic night, honestly anything'd be better than We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together with bongos."

_"I'm sitting right here!"_ Charlie calls.

"I know, that's why I'm saying it out loud, where you can hear it."

"I don't think so." Todd says.

Neil turns back, "Sorry what?"

"I don't think I'm going to read my poetry."

"Oh, no, I mean it's not like you have to, I just thought it might be nice. But hey, I totally respect your choice and anyways it's probably too good for a place like this or whatever." Neil pauses, "Jesus, I-what is it about you?"

"I'm sorry?"

"No-not you! See that's what I mean, I swear I am a normal functioning human being and that somehow whenever I'm around you I start saying all these things and it's just like I literally can't help it and I'm sorry and shit, shit, shit."

Todd stares at him, wide-eyed, either confused or frightened or maybe both. "I'm just going to back away slowly, enjoy your tea."

Ginny follows him into the kitchen, "What the hell Perry? Grow a pair and ask him out!" She snapped in probably what was the nicest way possible, at least for her.

"You don't get to lecture me on not talking to people about my feelings. What about you and Charlie Dalton and Gloria and Knox Overstreet?" He snaps, which is unfair and he knows it's unfair, throwing back her crushes in her face, especially over Charlie which had been years ago, but he did it anyways. He didn't lie when he said being around Todd made him kind of psycho.

"You know what, whatever." She turns on her heel and stomps out of the kitchen the door swinging wildly behind her.

They made up, because they're Ginny and Neil and they do have to live in the same tiny apartment but there was still the fault lines of tension running under the surface. Todd starts coming in every morning for coffee, chatting with Neil while he restocks the cases with fresh pastry. He starts to become a regular at open mic night and Neil starts to be able to control his verbal vomit a little bit better everytime he comes in. He even bribes Ginny into teaching him how to make Todd's latte's so he can make sure they're being done just right. If there's one thing he's learned about Todd in the short time he's know him it's how much he loves coffee.

They flirt and laugh and Neil feels something building to span the gap between them like a string tied tight around his heart binding itself to Todd inch by inch.

There is something though, something stopping them from getting any farther, something that makes Todd pull back, break the conversation, make an excuse to leave. This went on for months, months! It made Neil crazy and the crazier it made him the more likely he is to say something stupid like:

"Are we going kiss soon or what?"

Todd blinks. "What?"

"I'm just...clearly I like you and I'm like 95% sure that you like me and you come here everyday and we chat for hours at open mic and I've named a croissant after you and I just don't know what the deal is!" Neil blurts out. So maybe the craziness hadn't worn off that much.

"That croissant is called the Anderson Delight because of me?"

"Yes you dummy!" Neil exclaims, "Ginny didn't think it sounded enough like afternoon delight to be a truly good pun but I argued for it because that's what _love_ is."

"You think you're in love with _me_?" Todd asks, head up but eyes cast down at the table.

"What the hell else would you call this? I'm nervous and stupid and sweaty around you because I think you are the closest thing to a perfect human being I've ever found and why aren't we making out all the time? Why aren't we going on dates and having awesome sex because I'm sorry but I know you don't just think I'm the nice guy at the coffee shop."

"I-" Todd says and then he gets up and walks out the door. Neil's heart goes with him.

Ginny rubbed his shoulders and made him lasagna for dinner that night. She doesn't tell him he'll be okay or that Todd is a jerk, she doesn't tell him that he was crazy and she doesn't tell him to forget about Todd. Which is a good thing because he never would have listened to her anyways.

It's raining in the morning. Not heavily but that sort of misting rain that seems to sneak into your skin, cold and damp. Todd is waiting for him outside the shop when Neil walks up keys in hand. Ginny's off today and he's glad, even if it means he'll have to face this alone.

"I didn't mean to-"

"I don't like coffee." Todd says cutting him off. "And I don't care for tea much either."

There is a long silence, though admittedly a silence filled with car alarms and snippets of other people's conversations.

"Sorry what?" Neil says once he has rolled Todd's words around in his brain a few times and they still aren't making any sense.

"I don't like coffee."

"You're here twice a day buying coffee."

"Yeah, that's sort of the point." Todd says sheepishly, Neil notices he's wearing the same sweater from that first open mic night.

"But if you don't- Then why do you...?"

"Because of you." Todd says simply. "You were right and I'm sorry because it's been months and it's not fair because I'm obviously in love with you and you're obviously in love with me and this is just-"

Neil leans in and shuts him up with a kiss. Which in a movie would have resulted in a dramatic fade out with the swelling music but as this was real life Todd actually had more to say.

"Sorry-" He says pulling away, "There's just one other thing." He hands Neil an envelope with a single piece of paper inside. The first two sentences read as followed:

_I'm always skeptical of cafe's with clever names as they often seem to have been created for the sole purpose of using said name. Much Ado About Muffins however is another story entirely with what I believe to be not only the best baked goods in the city, but likely the best baked goods on the whole east coast. -_

Neil looks up not bothering to read any further. "I don't understand."

"Those magazine's I write for? I'm a food writer Neil, I was supposed to be reviewing you. This was due to my publisher months ago but I never handed it in."

The cogs in Neil's head are turning, albeit slowly and painfully. "But this is entirely praise for the cafe, this could have brought in a lot of people-"

"I know. I know that and I feel horrible. I didn't submit it because I didn't want you and this place to get taken away. I've never had a place, _people_, I actually cared about before, I usually just go to them for a few days and then walk away. And I understand if you hate me and I promise I'm going right now to my publisher and-"

Neil cuts him off again, catching Todd's hands as their mouths move together and pressing them close to his chest. "You are a ridiculous human being."

"I picked it up from spending time with you." He murmurs back touching Neil's shoulder blades softly as he unlocks the door relief and happiness making him bold.

"After you m'lord," Neil says holding the door open, "I'd say we should go out for coffee but..."

"Maybe just some Anderson Delight then?"

Neil stares at him, the hints of a smile curling at Todd's lips like the pages of a well-loved book. He feels it then in that moment, the strings of Todd's heart wrapping around his and pulling taut. So he does what any man in his position would do. He flips the sign from open to closed and follows Todd into the kitchen.

**A.N. I ended up changing tenses midway through this and having to go back and fix everything so if you find any tense things I missed please let me know. **


End file.
